(Jim Kitson's Special Place Rubbish An ever changing cornucopia of ill considered, shakily formulated and badly argued opinions on a variety of uninteresting topics.

  • Banjos.
  • Mobile Telephones.
  • British Leyland
  • Slippers.
  • Plywood Boards.
  • Political Correctness.
  • Beethoven.
  • God
  • The Metro Centre.
  • Most Haunted
  • Satan
  • The Inexplicable
  • Tomatoes
  • James Polk
  • Women
  • Banks


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    Banjos
     Truly joyous embodiments of the glory of being alive, and an ideal instrument to carry with you at all times in case you get stuck in a lift or an underground train and feel your companions need entertaining. The tenor banjo requires some degree of skill to play and so is not nearly as good as the 5 string for this purpose. .
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  • Mobile Telephones.

    Marvellous.
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  • British Leyland
    A byword in the seventies for useless inefficiency and pointless hanging about, the spirit of this splendid organisation has not yet been crushed and lives on amongst us to this day as anyone who has handed an amp over to Steve Drummond Electronics of St Georges Yard Newcastle upon Tyne in the naive trusting hope of ever seeing it again can testify.

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  • Putting large plywood boards over the main entrance doors of your house

     A stupid and totally pointless waste of time unless under threat of imminent zombie attack. Be sure to use an exterior grade board and galvanised fixings.
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  • Political Correctness

     Still Very good, especially when it's gone mad and annoyed the corpulent rich
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  • Slippers.

    entirely excellent, and a true demonstration of the positive effect of modern technological advances on the human condition..
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  • Beethoven.

    Very good. ( Or 'Banging' if you are a young person, and if so, welcome to the site)
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  • God

    Stupendous as He/She/ is responsible for sunsets, orchids and 'Cutting In' by Johnny 'Guitar' Watson.
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  • The Inexplicable.

    Anything that cannot be explained is true and worth basing your life on and evidence that people in the past lived in harmony with nature and never swore when they broke things, which they didn't anyway as they were in harmony with nature.
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  • The Metro Centre in Newcastle upon Tyne

     Utterly great. Because you don't get rain and there is a Mediterreanean village so you don't have to go abroad, or onto a film set as it has now been all excitingly re- themed up with old film lights and a pretend man on a camera to increase the raw thrill of a stroll past the lovely pavement cafes and mosaic pond with no water in.
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  • Satan

    Appalling as She/He (despite having once been God's Best Friend) is responsible not only for the idea that people who look/dress/ think/talk/live differently to you deserve to be killed but also Gerri Halliwell's version of 'It's Raining Men' and people who park on pavements'
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  • Tomatoes.

    A splendid idea in principle, but the frankly insane notion that slicing them and putting them into otherwise perfectly edible sandwiches so that they go soggy after about three minutes is anything other than a crime against     God needs to be exposed for what it is.
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  • James Polk

    Eleventh president of the United States of America whose inclusion as an answer in a high payout type popular general knowledge quiz could earn someone a bit of money.
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  • Women.

    Tremendous. Without them there would be hardly any market for skirts, rice cakes or salt and vinegar crisps and our economy would suffer and we could not rule out job losses. Also they have children which is an excellent way of repopulating the world with more people to make up for the ones who die as a result of accidents or old age or foul play. They also are never responsible for losing anything, or doing anything wrong, and are a constant source of advice when you are in the middle of doing something complicated which you have no evidence that they have ever done successfully themselves. (and also men are like this sometimes, I have been asked to point out( without the rice cakes, obviously)).
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  • Most Haunted.

    If there has ever been a finer program to grace our screens than this I for one would like to know about it.
  • Banks.

    Utterly wonderful, like the monastries in the Dark Ages, shining beacons of love and humanity in the tenebrous swamp of iniquity that is modern life. There can be little doubt that when the Messiah is revealed to us we shall find her working in the financial sevices sector. Or possibly the legal profession. Or property development.
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